I had my dr appt today with my primary care dr to get a letter of approval and support as well as blood work done. I had a mini freak out this morning because everything that could go wrong was running through my head. What if she doesn't think it's a good idea? What if she won't write the letter? What if she did but the insurance still doesn't think it's enough? How can I get my brain to look at food differently? What am I thinking?!?!
But part of those worries were calmed when I went to see the dr. Turns out, she had GB 6yrs ago herself. She has experienced everything that I am now. Yoyo dieting. Loosing weight only to gain it back. Being heavy her whole life. And she was 100% behind my decision. We went over my dieting history so she'll know what to write in the letter. She understood the importance of this letter. We talked about what I'll need to prepare myself for. The difficulty at first. The complete life change. But she said despite it all, she wouldn't change a thing. After talking with her, I had like 8 viles of blood taken and I left feeling more at peace with my decision.
I decided however that I will continue to see a therapist after the procedure. I'm the type of person who wants what I can't have- especially when it comes to food. I love food. And my relationship with food is why I'm here. So I need to train my mind to view it differently. To see it as fuel- and not as my reason for getting up in the morning. Obviously I haven't been able to do this on my own so I hope someone will be able to help me.
I also bought the workout set "Insanity" today. Jons out of town right now but when he gets back, we're going to start it together. I want to be in the workout mode again. My biggest concern right now with that is loosing weight. I'm barely eligible for the surgery right now so I can't afford to loose weight. Unless it turns out that I have sleep apnea. Then I'll be okay We'll see. But I'm looking forward to doing these crazy workouts with Jon.
Until next time.....